(I never talk about my battle's with weight. Now I am.)

I've come to the realization (all on my own), that I need to gain weight. For the last few year's, I've been playing this sick game of weight war's. This month I'll be in the teens, but next month I'll barely be holding on to 100. The scary, and sad thing is...it's all because I want to be that weight for that month. Doesn't sound to crazy, but what most people don't realize. I never maintain a certain weight. It's a yo-yo affect, that's not good on my body. Nor my emotional welfare. It does take toll's on you emotionally, and physically. Actually, if you put my height and weight into the BMI thing. I'm actually considered in the Anorexic box. Mind you, I don't starve myself. Atleast, I don't think I do. However, what most people don't know is. I've actually considered being that sick, disgusting thing that we all see on our tv's everyday. However, I've come to realize. That's gross, dangerous, and completely retarded. I don't want to be a statistic (sp?) of that. Instead, I'd rather be healthy, and do better for myself.

So, that is my goal. According to my height thing, I should be about 135. So, I've got about 30 pound's to gain. The funny thing is, I'm rather excited. Maybe for once, the "skinny" comment's will finally stop. (I hate the word "skinny". To me, it's been tainted by anorexia, and bulima.) That shall be a happy day! :)

Labels: Health