Friday, August 26, 2005

You're vanity phone number is: 1-Way-Too-Kewl (0-Way-Too-Kewl, preferred)

When your caller ID gets the "Out of Area" (solicitors) message you route it to your computer and send back your no-longer-in-service.wav you recorded from Bell Telephone.

You route other calls to your computer and answer with a headset, because all your nearby phone jacks (four) are used for your different computers. (Real junkies do it just because they think it is way cool.)

You have a laptop behind a hidden door (on swivel tray at sit down height) in the bathroom which is connected 24-7 and checks your only eMail list on that computer every 10 minutes: BathroomJokes@eGroups.com.

Your only desktop icon on the laptop is connected to news.bathroom.jokes.com

Your wife is baffled why it takes you so long in the bathroom and what you find so funny while in there.

Your credit report has a large number of different addresses lived at such as:
3845.stay.connected.ws
2066.new.stay.connected.ws
2067.newest.stay.connected.ws
2068.all.new.stay.connected.ws.com

You insist to the credit bureau that the "ws" in your domain name stands for "Web Street" and the "com" is "Zoned for Commercial Use."

The matting of the carpet underneath your computer chair is starting to show through. All other places are near new.

There is a trail worn in the carpet from your computer to: kitchen, bedroom, bathroom. All other places are near new.

You try to talk your wife into putting your computer, the kitchen, and bedroom, all in one room (with a door into the bathroom of course).

You have a speaker in the bathroom connected to your main computer and listen closely for, "You got mail!" (You have mastered the task of 2 minute showers.)

You constantly beg your wife to bring your laptop to bed with you (when,, you *do* sleep away from the computer chair) only to be disappointed.

You would not be caught dead or alive with an AOL Internet account. (*Everybody* knows AOL is for newbies and you'd be the laughing stock at @geeks.com)

You download, on the average, ten programs a day and have hundreds in K:\Download\ that you never installed even though you have WinZip setup to automatically open it, but you cancel.

You think American Express was talking about your laptop when they said, "Don't leave home without it." Your cell connection and fifthe Internet account are mainly for backup in case your other accounts go down.

You tell newbies Mad Cow disease is a virus you can catch at TuCows.

You've been thrown off three ISPs with an unlimited access account. (What part of unlimited didn't you understand?:)

You smile from ear to ear when you hear your four year old sone tell your wife, "Go into Prperties, Settings..."

Your wife sends you eMail with links in it like: http://sendafriend.com/addicted and you are proud of yourself.

The sad thing is, I can relate to some of that...I have turned my volume up all the way to hear an IM or if I get mail fromt the other end of the house...When I use to be on the internet up to 10 hour's a day, I would only leave to eat, and pee! That's it...How sad?

Nikki [ 4:24 PM ]

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