This is from Larry's version of some Christmas songs...

Get a job you bum,bum,bum,bum
Money doesn't grow on trees you bum,bum,bum,bum

Silent farts
Deadly farts
All was calm
Not for long

Oh come all yee little foreigner's
Come and get them green cards
Then learn some damn english
And then how to drive

I wish my mother-in-law get hit by a car
I wish my mother-in-law get hit by a car
I wish my mother-in-law get hit by a car
So I wouldn't have to hear her...bitch

Blue balls, Blue balls
It's dollar night at the tittie club
See them dance on my pants
Soon it will be bathroom time

You better watch out
I think she's a guy
I ain't quite, but somethin's ain't right
Janet Reno's comin' to town

Donny the retard had a 8 pound water head
He was 5'3 and he said to me
"My name's Donny"

The first queer santa claus
Wore leather red chaps
And a pair of white shorty-shorts with a hole in the back

I pissed my pants
The toilet was just to far
I drunk to much damn beer
I tried to hold it in
But my bladder just gave in
And I pissed right through my drawers
Right through my wrangler drawers
I pissed, I pissed my wrangler drawers