1. Blaming your farts on me...not funny...not funny at all!

2. Yelling at me for barking...I'm a dog you IDIOT.

3. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly
who's walk is it anyway??

4. Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose...stop it!!

5. Any haircuts that involves bows & ribbons. Now you know why we chew
your stuff up when your not home.

6. The slight of hand, fake throw. You fooled a dog...WHOO-HOO...what a
proud moment for the top of the food chain!

7. Taking me to the vet for the "Big Snip", then acting surprised when I
freak out every time we go back.

8. Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry, but we
haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet.

9. Dog sweaters!! Hello?? Haven't you noticed the fur?

10. How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we both know the
truth, you're just jealous!!??